i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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