Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize