You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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