Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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