she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
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We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
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Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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