Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
