Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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