That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
