tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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