I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
