Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
