HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
