I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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