Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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