apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
