Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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