I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
