You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
