These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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