If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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