uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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