I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
