Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
