oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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