We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
