Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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