Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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