mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
this will be a night to untag.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
