We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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