i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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