Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
