I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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