I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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