There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
