Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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