Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
