I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
