It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
