so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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