Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
