She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
