he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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