he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
