I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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