i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
you never un-have a 4some
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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