She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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