Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
