It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
