never play flip cup with pint glasses
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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