someone threw a dead crab at me
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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