dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it was like eating out sand paper
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
