dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
