So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
