it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
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i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
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Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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