this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
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It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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