Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
