I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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