Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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