I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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