Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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