If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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