you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
