dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
