Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official drugs can't kill me
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize