paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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