he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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